Jesus…what a prick! Who the fuck is he to tell me what’s right and wrong? Who gave him the goddamn authority to make up rules and shit?
And what’s up with the fucking threats? Really, Mr. Peace, Love and Understanding? You’re gonna threaten me with ETERNAL damnation? Fuck, that’s a long time…
I’d like to be a Christian, but I can’t handle the intimidation. Sure, the benefits of church are pretty good: something to do on Sunday, free food at the picnics, fucking tight, Christian pussy – but really…the threats are too much.
I’d much rather believe in something that doesn’t want me dead for not ‘feeling’ the right thing in my ‘heart’. I like kinder, gentler messiahs – not these death, destruction, mutilation ones that have become so popular these days.
I don’t see a lot of rabid Buddhists running around threatening to kill people in Buddha’s name. I can’t say the same for death-obsessed Christians.
Now, with this Jesus Threatens Me Shirt everyone will realize you are a Holy Hostage of God. Get one today!
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