UnChristianLikeBehavior - Killing God is What We Do! Atheism Shirts, T-Shirts, Funny, Anti Christian God Shirt

Jesus Threatens Me

Aug 022011

Jesus…what a prick! Who the fuck is he to tell me what’s right and wrong? Who gave him the goddamn authority to make up rules and shit?

And what’s up with the fucking threats? Really, Mr. Peace, Love and Understanding? You’re gonna threaten me with ETERNAL damnation? Fuck, that’s a long time…

I’d like to be a Christian, but I can’t handle the intimidation. Sure, the benefits of church are pretty good: something to do on Sunday, free food at the picnics, fucking tight, Christian pussy – but really…the threats are too much.

I’d much rather believe in something that doesn’t want me dead for not ‘feeling’ the right thing in my ‘heart’. I like kinder, gentler messiahs – not these death, destruction, mutilation ones that have become so popular these days.

I don’t see a lot of rabid Buddhists running around threatening to kill people in Buddha’s name. I can’t say the same for death-obsessed Christians.

Now, with this Jesus Threatens Me Shirt everyone will realize you are a Holy Hostage of God. Get one today!

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Hellbound

Hellbound Latest Posts

Aug 022011

Oh, my…I’ve had enough of being told that I’m going to Hell. Fucking Christians condemning me, judging me, ‘knowing’ that I’m on my way downstairs to hang with ‘S’ – that’s what I call Satan. Kind of a pet name, you know…we’re close. Sometimes, I call him ‘Red’, but he thinks I’m making fun of him, so I try to respect his feelings. He’s more sensitive than you might think.

Anyway, this lovely piece of clothing will let everyone know that YOU know what’s going on. It kinda takes the wind out of a self-righteous evangelical asshole – or makes them pray like crazy when they go home and cry to Jesus.

If you ask me, I would MUCH rather spend eternity in Hell with the party people than in Heaven with a bunch of uptight weaklings.

Get this Hellbound Shirt now and let the world know your future plans.

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I Am God

I Am God Latest Posts

Jul 292011

Ok, I’ve solved the problem of religion. Especially for Atheists.

With this organically-derived, focus group-approved, scientifically-formulated, 9 out of 10 Dentists-recommended phrase, you can start a whole new life. Now you can keep your non-theist belief system, but still still believe in a god – yourself. It’s pure genius!

PLUS you will also be somebody else’s God, too. Whenever somebody says they believe in God, you can smile to yourself and know that complete strangers are worshiping you! Nice, huh? Plus, if you listen really, really carefully you can hear the begging and whining of desperate souls – and then ignore them! Fun!

You don’t REALLY have to do anything to become a god, you just have to have some boneheads get behind some esoteric idea. Now’s your big chance.

Get this I Am God shirt and we can redefine the meaning of God, one shirt at a time.

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I Believe In The Wrong God

I Believe In The Wrong God Latest Posts

Jul 292011

Goddamnit! How the fuck are you supposed to know which god to believe in? There are so fucking many! Come on, this is ridiculous.

You know you’ll never pick the ‘right’ god, there will always somebody with their own god claiming his god is the ‘right’ one – and you’re going to straight to Hell!

It’s really a no-win situation. Sure, you can believe in God with all your heart, but you can’t really be sure it’s gonna do you any good. I mean, how can you be postive that your billion-year-old book written by derelicts, killers, rapists and hallucination-prone gypsies is the RIGHT book among all the other billion-year-old books written by derelicts, killers, rapists and hallucination-prone gypsies? There are so many…what are you gonna do? Spend your whole life reading books? Think about the differences and meanings of the faiths? FUCK THAT. You need a god and you need him now. You gotta take your chances.

So, once you’ve made your fear-inspired choice, be assured that the next religious asshole that comes along is going to tell you just how wrong you are.

Get your I Believe in the Wrong God shirt now!

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God is Still Dead

God is Still Dead Latest Posts

Jul 282011

Alright, Nietzsche said it best and it was true. But it’s STILL true – and not everyone realizes it. God is Still Dead. Dead as always.

Sure, little Jesus lived and died (according to some fairy tales), yet big daddy G never did manifest himself. Never will. Why? Because God is an idea – one that never took off, never REALLY took hold. Sure the idea of ‘Grandpa in the Sky’ is a nice idea – but it’s just that: an idea.

But this fantastic shirt is REAL! It’s so real, you can touch it and feel it and smell it and cuddle it – all the things you can’t do with a God.

So, instead of sending in some of your hard-earned cash to some TV preacher who’s gonna lie and tell you fancy stories about eternal life and a loving God, you should send your money to me and I’ll save you some time, energy, fear and anguish. I’ll cut to the chase, tell you God is Dead and even give you a prize for your efforts.

Get your God is Still Dead shirt now!

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I Am Hell

I Am Hell Latest Posts

Jul 282011

If, according to Jean Paul Sartre, Hell is other people, then you are Hell for everyone you know. That’s pretty cool, if you ask me.

With this fascinatingly simple – yet eloquently sublime – t-shirt, you can now announce your role in someone elses life. Give ‘em Hell. Be Hell.

Now you can own your very own I AM HELL Shirt! Sure, dumb-asses won’t get it, but that’s kinda the point. You are smarter than the average Christian, and this shirt let’s you smugly, slyly wear your atheist hear on your sleeve…or you chest, as the case may be.

Either way, you should order one!

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Unholy

Unholy Latest Posts

Nov 252010

Not just a shitty KISS song - now it’s a shirt, too!

Nice, clean, simple and easy to read. Perfect for visiting Grandma on the holidays or a great way to get a LOT of negative attention at church.

Get your sweet UNHOLY shirt now! You’ll be glad you did

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What If I’m God?

What If I’m God? Latest Posts

Nov 202010

What If I’m God?

I may not be ALL knowing, but I AM pretty smart. And I am definitely all-loving – except for asshole christians and other crazies.

Who knows…seems like someone should do the job – or maybe do it better, ’cause it seems to me like the job hasn’t been taken too seriously. I thought God was supposed to be good and make stuff better. I can’t help but think that God fucked up.

So, if you buy this shirt you can at least make people question just for a second whether or not you just might be the Savior of Mankind. And you never know…maybe somebody will think that you ARE God and then you can start a cult and figure out a way to save the world with some kind of Super Theory Plan that ONLY YOU know how to put into action.

Hey, Charlie almost got away with it – he just couldn’t find the worm-hole to the center of the earth. A minor glitch to world domination BUT he did have a stinky harem of misfits that would steal some sweet hippie jeans and bring him food. It’s no Heaven and streets of gold, but it’s not a bad start on the road to Messiah-ism.

Speaking of Manson, you ever heard Lie: The Love and Terror Cult? It’s pretty wild.

Anyway, buy this What If I’m God shirt. Have a little faith in yourself. ‘Cause…what if you are?

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Fuck War

Fuck War Latest Posts

Nov 192010

Come on…enough already. Can’t these fake wars just be over now? Goddamn. What nonsense.

Fuck War. It’s pretty simple. It’s very UnChristian, too. I mean, who loves war more than a Good Christian? NO ONE. There’s nothing like praying that the White Gods People kill all the Brown Gods People.

I wonder how long it would take Christians to wipe out all the other religions of the world. I guess we’ll find out eventually, huh? Stupid fucking religious zealots.

“This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while.”
~ George Bush, 9/16/01

You should buy this shirt. It’s pretty cool. It’s a good message.

Get your FUCK WAR Shirt now!

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UnBornAgain

UnBornAgain Latest Posts

Nov 162010

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Big mistake, huh?

Who knew you couldn’t do ANYTHING fun? What a stupid, fucking set of rules: NO FUCKING, NO DRUGS, NO GAMBLING, NO PORN, NO LYING, NO CHEATING, NO KILLING, NO REVENGE, NO DRESSING MONKEYS UP IN PRETTY SUMMER DRESSES AND STRAW HATS, NO- oh, wait. Ok, enough of the examples. You know how it is. You can’t do anything that any ‘real’ people would want to do. What a drag. It’s like you have to pretend your some kind of bubble-boy (or bubble-girl, as the case may be) and you can’t actually experience the world in which you actually exist. Kinda sad, really.

Yes, I know. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you were once stupid enough to believe in an imaginary entity that lived waaaaaay up in the sky and watched over you for your entire life, was going to pass judgment on you and either accept you into Eternal Bliss OR cast you down to Eternal Damnation and Torment? Pretty dumb, huh? Once you spell it out, it becomes a much easier equation.

So…what’s it called when someone is re-converted from the awful, evil grip of Christianity? It’s called Un-born-again – and it’s a good thing.

Show your renouncement of stupidity and sheepy-ness. Be one of the few. The proud. The UnBornAgain.

Get your UnBornAgain Shirt now!

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